What fills the space of your heart? What has subtly settled in and taken root? What are you intentionally trying to grow there? What is in bloom? What needs pruning?
For over a year, I have been paying attention to what fills my heart. And to be honest, my heart has been a tangled mess. Deep down, there are a lot of things I want in life. I really want certainty. I want to know what the future holds. I want to feel safe and secure, and be able to predict what tomorrow will bring. I want to be loved. I want my family and friends to want to spend time with me. To seek my company. To give me affirmation and validation. I want to be liked. I want to look like I have it all together. I want to be a good mom and a good wife. I want to be appreciated and successful in whatever I do. I want to be right in my anger. I want to hold on to my fears, and muscle my way through things that are hard. The list could go on and on, and they aren't all bad things. But none of these things are God. The deepest desires of my heart, are not for God. In fact, the things I have loved and searched for and held close and desired, are preventing me from truly loving God.
But paying attention has been important. I think paying attention has made space for God to work among the weeds, bringing me to a place of surrendering everything to Him. I'm hoping, with His help, to establish my heart. To grow my love for Him.
When I first came across this verse last year, it caught my attention. I wondered what establishing your heart looked like...how does one establish their heart? Since then, I have looked at every verse in the Bible that mentions the heart. And I think it starts with paying attention to what's in our hearts, weighing our wants against our desire for God. Do you love God more than ANYTHING else? Do you love God more than anything else, no matter what happens in life? Until you do, your heart is not established.